Still Standing My Ground

Cream Cheese and Bacon Mushrooms
Orchard House, Caldwell, ID

Stress is still a nemesis in my life. Work pressures have escalated, and I was in a car accident 2 Thursdays ago. I have not received a definite answer as to whether MamaKia will be fixed or totaled. In the meantime, I am tweaking my low-carb regime and exploring vocational options that are closer to home.

It is frustrating to have experienced something that worked beautifully only to have it shipwreck in a crisis—and not because I stopped doing what I knew to do. The best news is that my weight is headed in the right direction again, even when the scale gets stuck on one number for a series of days.

I have not signed up for deprivation. Except for an occasional reset through intermittent fasting, I am still enjoying the adventurous low-carb fare.

I spent my Sunday afternoon in the Caldwell vineyard country. The Orchard House patio offered a pleasant mix of shade, breeze, and sunshine. Music from the ’70s had me oscillating in my chair. There was even a Conversation Jar should I get tired of talking to myself.

Share your "COMMENTS" below↓

Equilibrium

Bacon Wrapped Jalapenos
Stewart's Bar & Grill | Caldwell, Idaho

Parmesan Encrusted Salmon
Orphan Annies | Caldwell, Idaho

I have been a widow for over eight months now. I rejoice that I have made it this far! Grief, the stress of starting a new vocation, and the resulting sedentariness of life in a cubicle have undoubtedly caused havoc with my equilibrium. After losing 41 pounds, I am still creatively low-carbing, although I have mysteriously gained weight. It is incredible how a crisis can disrupt success.

I recently began seeing a holistic chiropractor, Dr. Rosie of Main Health Solutions. Dr. Rosie is a proponent of the ketogenic diet and natural healing. She agrees that the sudden changes in my life have created a disturbance. Much like a hard drive malfunctioning when its directory branches are broken, the body loses its balance when the nervous system misfires or fails to communicate properly. 

Truthfully, my back has been out of whack since the delivery of my youngest son—18 years ago. At 60, I have noticed that my posture is not where it should be. Xrays show that I have a bit of degeneration where I had my last epidural. 

I am looking for a life alignment, not just a repositioning of my physicality. 

This said I am continuing to do what I know to do. I believe that I will find my sure footing again. Cheryl A. Barrett wrote, “Time has no boundaries in matters of the heart.” Perhaps another revelation resonates with Shauna L Hoey's thoughts, “Heartache purged layers of baggage I didn’t know I carried. Gifts hide under the layers of grief.”

Share your "COMMENTS" below↓

Reset

Understandably, these last four months have introduced me to emotions and challenges I have never faced. On June 8th, it will have been four months since Barry died! I have undoubtedly scaled some new terrain. While time seems to have evaporated, I have made some incredible progress.

Still, there has been discouragement. Since the day after Barry's passing, I vowed to stick to my low-carb/ketogenic lifestyle. I knew it was essential to stay the course and take care of me. I had lost 41 pounds! I was not willing to trash that success. Food could quickly become a pacifier, and I refused to let it.

Despite staying the course though, I began to gain weight. 

Out of necessity, I had abruptly begun a new vocation about five weeks after Barry died. I became a Patient Specialist with a major hospital. I had previous customer service experience but had never worked in the medical field. I had jumped directly into the fire and was enduring a longer commute to boot!

One day, after battling traffic, I pulled into a strip mall, horribly depressed. I felt like a spent, frumpy old woman whose waistband was beginning to choke my spirit. Seeing my reflection in my car's window offered no comfort.

Now, I believe that God is more willing to speak to us than we are eager to listen. (And no, Joyce Behar, I am not mentally ill.) In a still, quieting voice, He nudged me. He reminded me that five things factored into this weight gain.

1. The stress of Barry dying suddenly and leaving me on my own
2. Grieving his loss
3. Being thrust into a sedentary job—in a cubicle—for 8 hours a day
4. More driving time in rush hour traffic
5. Not getting enough sleep

I had left a more active position and a commute that was only 10-15 minutes each way. My life had undergone a major rehaul. My operating system was affected. 

So, I countered with positive steps...

1. Reading the Bible and plugging into peaceful, soothing outlets of strength and hope
2. Allowing myself to grieve and heal
3. Utilizing the four flights of stairs to my office, parking my car further away, and doing planks to strengthen my core
4. Leaving earlier for work to beat the traffic and listening to life-building audiobooks
5. Prioritizing my time so that I can get more sleep

I AM NOT GIVING UP!

Perseveringly,

Feel free to comment below. ⇓