Reset

Understandably, these last four months have introduced me to emotions and challenges I have never faced. On June 8th, it will have been four months since Barry died! I have undoubtedly scaled some new terrain. While time seems to have evaporated, I have made some incredible progress.

Still, there has been discouragement. Since the day after Barry's passing, I vowed to stick to my low-carb/ketogenic lifestyle. I knew it was essential to stay the course and take care of me. I had lost 41 pounds! I was not willing to trash that success. Food could quickly become a pacifier, and I refused to let it.

Despite staying the course though, I began to gain weight. 

Out of necessity, I had abruptly begun a new vocation about five weeks after Barry died. I became a Patient Specialist with a major hospital. I had previous customer service experience but had never worked in the medical field. I had jumped directly into the fire and was enduring a longer commute to boot!

One day, after battling traffic, I pulled into a strip mall, horribly depressed. I felt like a spent, frumpy old woman whose waistband was beginning to choke my spirit. Seeing my reflection in my car's window offered no comfort.

Now, I believe that God is more willing to speak to us than we are eager to listen. (And no, Joyce Behar, I am not mentally ill.) In a still, quieting voice, He nudged me. He reminded me that five things factored into this weight gain.

1. The stress of Barry dying suddenly and leaving me on my own
2. Grieving his loss
3. Being thrust into a sedentary job—in a cubicle—for 8 hours a day
4. More driving time in rush hour traffic
5. Not getting enough sleep

I had left a more active position and a commute that was only 10-15 minutes each way. My life had undergone a major rehaul. My operating system was affected. 

So, I countered with positive steps...

1. Reading the Bible and plugging into peaceful, soothing outlets of strength and hope
2. Allowing myself to grieve and heal
3. Utilizing the four flights of stairs to my office, parking my car further away, and doing planks to strengthen my core
4. Leaving earlier for work to beat the traffic and listening to life-building audiobooks
5. Prioritizing my time so that I can get more sleep

I AM NOT GIVING UP!

Perseveringly,

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